A deep dark secret rumbles within; you’ve spotted your friend’s boyfriend/husband in the act, what now? I’m sure you want to tell her right away, but pump your brakes, and put down the phone! First things first, you’ve got to assess the type of friendship you have with this individual. Do you have a tight bond established with this person? Is this the kind of person who would trust your judgment? Only if you can answer the previous questions with an affirming yes, would I advise you to divulge your findings. Your friendship has to run deep if you are to ‘let the cat out the bag’.
My rule of thumb is to refrain from revealing any controversial scoop to acquaintances, associate, or colleagues. Reason being that the friendship is not established enough to get involved in such personal matters. In addition, if you report back to your friend any scandalous acts, be prepared draw yourself into the mess, and possibly end up looking like the bad guy. I’m well aware and respect the ‘Girl Code’, but in this circumstance I would tread lightly.
You may be confused as to why you should sit on top-secret information, but there’s wisdom to be acquired here. Ignorance is bliss for some women, and when caught in a whirlwind romance with a man, they wouldn’t want a soul to disrupt this rhythm. A woman would rather remain delusional, and continue to maintain the story in her mind about her lover boy.
With that being said, when you unveil this top-secret information, there is a chance that you might bare the brunt of her emotional reaction. Your gal pal may believe her boyfriends lies over you, which may get you excused of being jealous or possessing malicious intent. I’ve seen this occur several times amongst friends.
Case in point, a friend of mine experienced this exact circumstance, which led her to expose her gal pals dirty dog boyfriend. She spotted this lowlife in the club hugged up and kissing on another woman. Being a great friend that she was and following ‘girl code’, there was no other option but to confront her childhood friend with this information. In spite of this honorable action, her decision would end up biting her in the butt. Her gal pal actually wound up cutting her off for a whole year over this guy. Is this the kind of appreciation she deserved for helping out a friend?
Kicking a friend to the curb is the ultimate betrayal in this situation. Could it be that she may have already known that her boyfriend was cheating, and was ashamed that a friend brought light to the situation? It may well have been the case. 9 times out of 10, women know when their significant other is cheating, but are in denial about it. And it is only when someone you know catches your guy red handed, does it confirm your worst fears. Therefore, someone has to pay for the emotional hurt, and often times it’s your friendly ally.
Now don’t get me wrong, I definitely would want someone to tell me if my husband or boyfriend was cheating. Nevertheless, I wouldn’t paint my friend out to be the villain, nor would I disclose where I obtained my source of information. All in all, I would conduct my own research to verify that my friend is indeed correct, before confronting my boyfriend about it.
Turning your friend into the villain only distracts you from truly acknowledging the fact that you were cheated on by your love interest. The boyfriend/husband is the disloyal party here, and you must get to the bottom of that situation. Sweeping his bad deeds under the rug is only postponing your pain, and will eventually blow up in your face.
I understand there may be those that disagree with my conditions on disclosure, but sometimes in order to keep the friendship intact you may have to mind your own business. As you think about my point, I’m sure you can see where I’m coming from. Let’s face it, situations like this happens all the time, so be sure to consider the type of friendship you have before you go spill the beans.
Now I’ll propose the question to you, would you tell a friend if you spotted her boyfriend cheating? Why, or Why not? Do you disagree with me on breaking the ‘Girl Code’ in this scenario? Would you want someone to reveal your boyfriends/husbands cheating ways to you? Share your thoughts by leaving a comment below.
Shawna Kay ( Blissed Out Belle )
Kay is a Lifestyle & Empowerment Enthusiast, and the Founder and Editor-in-Chief of Blissed Out Belle™. Connect with her on Facebook here, and follow her on Twitter @BlissedOutBelle