“Where have all the good men gone?”, is a question that has crossed the minds of plenty single women. Ladies, at some point we’ve all huddled together with our girlfriends bemoaning the selection of men in the dating pool, and when all is said and done we usually come to the conclusion that all the good one’s are taken. Quite frankly they’re not, and you’ve been under the wrong impression. This is the one myth that women have been passing around for ages, and has been sabotaging their love lives. I want to dismiss this myth once and for all, because ladies there are tons of good men out here and you’re missing out. So, if you believe there’s no good men left, this will become your reality; just remember your outlook, determines your outcome. Trust me, it’s in your change of perspective is where you will find your good man.
It’s Raining Men! Hallelujah! Yes it is, and good ones! I swear to you, there are great eligible bachelors looking for good women to settle down with. So, you know what that means; what you’re looking for, is looking for you! Good men are right under your nose, but you’ve got to keep your eyes peeled. Good men are living right next door, attending the same schools, sitting at the same coffee shops, or you might’ve just placed them in the ‘friend zone’. On the other hand, could it be that you’re too busy paying attention to Mr. Emotionally Unavailable, to see the other guy who has been showing you interest. At any rate, you’re just ignoring, or overlooking them.
Now, what on earth would compel a single woman to ignore a good man? The answer is simple, he doesn’t fit into her picture perfect mold of what she wants, or believes she should have. All things considered, don’t take this the wrong way, but the reason why a woman can’t find a good man is her own fault. Yes I said it. Women hold the power to finding a good man, given that she makes the decision on which guy she allows to date her. So, it comes as a surprise to me, that women are passing up seemingly good men, just because he doesn’t fit her ideal. Naturally, we all have an ideal mental image of what we desire in a partner, for me I like a man at least 6 foot tall, built like a football player, and handsomely cute. However, if the man I’m dating lacks any of those characteristics, I’m not kicking him to the curb for that. As a matter of fact, my first love was 5’8, and no way near 6 feet, but I fell in love with him despite this. Anyway, I’m sharing this with you, because I want you to understand that in order to find love you have to change your perspective and have an open mind.
How about instead of going for your usual type, you allow yourself to be open to something new. What about that guy who doesn’t have the bulging muscles, but he calls you everyday, or text you “good morning” every morning; how about giving him a chance? What about that guy whose not 6 feet tall, but he remembers your birthday, and other days of importance to you, that’s your guy! What about the guy who doesn’t wear all the fancy labels, but he’ll come and pick you up from work at the drop of a dime if needed. How about him?
Perhaps, on the other hand you might want to check your friend-zone, your ideal man might be there. All good relationships start off when both parties were friends, hung out, and have lots in common. Sometimes the perfect man for you; your soul mate, is not going have that body like Vin Diesel, he’s probably not going to have swagger like Jay-Z, and he’s probably not going to look like Brad Pitt; so you’ll have to look pass that.
You see, this all calls for an open mind, and the only way to do that begins with a shift in perspective. First and foremost, you’ll want acknowledge all the blocks that are hindering you from meeting a great guy. What are you doing that’s undermining your efforts in meeting a good guy? When you can pinpoint the way’s you’ve been sabotaging your love life, then your able to course correct. Accordingly, this will require you to quit the “all men are dogs” conversations, forget about all the man bashing, and affirm to yourself that “Yes, Great men do exist!” Now, as you go about your life take notice of the men who are reaching out to you, or over extending themselves; and without any mental bias, assess whether their date worthy, or not. And if push comes to shove, and you’re just not that into him, at least you gave it a sincere consideration.
All in all, it’s about striking a balance of being true to yourself and maintaining your standards, while keeping an open minded. When you can shift your perspective, stay positive, and keep an open mind, is when you’ll place yourself in a better position to meet a great guy. Ladies keep in mind, a good man is just around the corner, but it’s your job to recognize him when he shows up.
Do you believe the myth that there are no good men left? Why? What can a woman do to increase her chances of meeting a good guy? Share your thoughts by leaving a comment below.
Shawna Kay ( Blissed Out Belle )
Kay is a Lifestyle & Empowerment Enthusiast, and the Founder and Editor-in-Chief of Blissed Out Belle™. Connect with her on Facebook here, and follow her on Twitter @BlissedOutBelle .