Sexual attraction, the urge of all urges, but what’s a woman to do when she is interested in pursuing a meaningful relationship? To wait, or not to wait, that is the question. The big heated debate 3 Month Rule vs Celibacy, we all have different opinions of what works. I will fire off the conversation by saying, there are no hard or fast rules on this one. And I’m sure you have heard of instances where a couple has gotten intimate on the first date, and eventually end up getting married. This apparent scenario is the exception, and not the rule.
Many of you know about the 3-month rule from Steve Harvey’s book ‘Act Like a Lady, Think Like A Man’. Nevertheless, if you haven’t heard of it, the 3-Month Rule is when a woman waits 3-months before having sex with a guy she is dating. During the 3 months, she is going on dates with that gentleman to get to know him, and to see if there is a real connection and compatibility. It has been said that 3-months is an adequate amount of time to really get to know someone. In all actuality, 3-months is not an adequate amount of time to truly get to know anyone for that matter.
The first 3-months of dating is the honeymoon phase, and all is well. The honeymoon phase of the relationship is when we are conscious of everything we do, or say around our love interest. At this point we’re extremely aware, and even find that we portray ourselves in a different light. Everything is lovey-dovey, and roses are red, violets are blue!
Hold on now; don’t get swept away into happily-ever-after just yet. Once that 3-month mark hits comfort begins to set in, and that’s when a persons real unconscious behavior, also known as ‘true colors’ is revealed. As a result, if your guy is a jerk, by the time you discover this, you would already have given yourself to him. For this reason, I’m skeptical about the 3-month rule, we are only judging our suitor based on the very little we know about them.
Celibacy on the other hand is when you abstain from sex altogether as you wait for the commitment of marriage, or even a relationship. Celibacy requires self-control, and some women have chosen this path, and it has it’s advantages. The logic behind the decision is that they are saving themselves for their husband, and this may help them pick out the marriage-minded men who are in it for the long haul. I would definitely agree. A man in it, to win it will stay the long haul whether sex is in the picture or not. If a man is only looking for sex he will throw up deuces and leave, when he feels that he’s wasting time. This type of man is thinking short-term gain, so allow him to get the stepping. No worries ladies, contrary to popular belief the right man will wait for You!
I support the case for both standards, but let me play devil’s advocate for a minute. I am aware that plenty of men are in uproar right now, and would say that woman are you using sex as a tool. ( i.e. dangling the carrot on a stick) I’ve also heard men state that they must sample the goods before they make a full-fledged commitment. These men want to know what they’re signing themselves up for, and want to be guaranteed a fulfilling sex life. This male reasoning sounds very shallow to me, and is more about selfish gain. Furthermore, a women’s worth does not depend on her sexual capability. Granted that you’re seeking a meaningful relationship, if you even entertain a man with these views he will con you right out of your panties.
Belle’s whichever path you may choose, you will have to do what works best for you. I would highly suggest that you wait as long as possible, and get to know your suitor on a deeper level. Allow him to court you, and show you what he’s made of. Give him the opportunity to take you on dates to various places, therefore your able to observe him in different settings. As a reminder, pay close attention to his actions, more than his words. We women often find ourselves overlooking actions, because we’re so hooked to a man’s charming words. This advice I’m imparting to you is straight from the male mind of friends and associates. These men all gave me basically the the same response of; “women would overall be in a more empowered position in the dating game if they would hold off on sex”.
Also, keep in mind if you’re dating a guy and you only see him every two weeks or so; you’re not really getting to know each other. An interested man will set aside time to see you at least once a week. In the case that this occurs, cut your losses and move on; and don’t accept him stringing you along as a future conquest.
On behalf of all women, I’ve designed a brand new rule intended for those ladies who can’t seem to wait too long, but don’t want to rush into intimacy. Keep an eye out for this new dating rule in an upcoming post.
Are you practicing the 3 Month Rule or Celibacy? How is it working for you? Are you against any of them, and why? Share your thoughts by leaving a comment below.
Shawna Kay ( Blissed Out Belle )
Kay is a Lifestyle & Empowerment Enthusiast, and the Founder and Editor-in-Chief of Blissed Out Belle™. Connect with her on Facebook here, and follow her on Twitter @BlissedOutBelle