“If you liked it, then you should have put a ring on it!” This was my jam! The song, ‘Single Ladies’ was the anthem for solo women from 2008 through 2009. Along with the infamous hand flip back and forth, tons of women were rubbing this in their ex beau’s face. “Eat your heart out, buddy!”
This tune rang a bell with so many hopefuls that sang and danced to it. These women were ecstatic that the spotlight was shined on this subject, and on the other hand, ticked off that they had previously been on standby while their boyfriends sat on the fence trying to decide if he was in it for the long haul.
I’m acquainted with this amazing young lady, who was wholeheartedly dedicated to her boyfriend and their relationship; there was no doubt that she wanted to be with him long term. On a weekend get away; spending quality time with her boyfriend, she was surprised with a small box with a ring in it. Could it be what I think it is? Absolutely! Yes, he liked it and put a ring on it…. a promise ring!
To tell you the truth, I was that young lady. I had just recently graduated from college, and
had been dating my boyfriend for about 4 years. I thought this was the Big Kahuna, but I was puzzled as hell! The ring didn’t come with a proposal; what does this mean? He clarified that the ring was a promise ring, and it signified his love and commitment to the relationship. Let me just sum up the situation, by saying that this relationship didn’t end up flourishing the way I hoped it would.
What is a Promise Ring?
A promise ring is a ring given to a romantic partner to signify the commitment to a monogamous relationship, often as a precursor to the engagement ring. The history of promise rings date back to the 16th and 17th centuries in Europe, and is an exchange token of love or friendship. Tradition generally holds that younger couples gave these rings. This typically was the case since it was normal for the young couples to not be established yet, and the ring was a placeholder until marriage became possible.
Now don’t get me wrong, the idea of promise rings are sweet, sentimental, and it’s cute for the kids, but if you are over the age of 21, it’s a NO GO! As I have informed you, younger couples give these rings. If you’re over the age of 21, I would call a promise ring a placeholder token. Belle’s, you’re not a child, you don’t need anyone promising you anything.
There are some men who will present you with a promise ring, just to keep you quiet and make you comfortable with the relationship status, and he may have no real intentions on being with you at all. Now, that’s a hard pill to swallow! This is not to say that couples that have exchanged promise rings won’t ever make it down the aisle, but if a man is really serious about you he will go for the real deal holyfield.
Disallow any ideas of a promise ring or any piece of fine jewelry for that matter, from giving you a false sense of relationship security. If your feeling insecure with the relationship, observe his actions; that will disclose all the insight you need. You may also want to take the direct approach by having an open and honest conversation. And with all the findings in tow, it’s time to get off your fence and make a decision. Don’t accept crumbs, when you can have the whole pie. Tell’m to Go BIG, or go home, after all, Promise Rings, are for the Kids!
What do you think of the concept of promise rings? As an adult woman, would you be ok with accepting a promise ring? What would you do or say if it were offered? Share your thoughts by leaving a comment below.
Kaye is a Lifestyle & Empowerment Enthusiast, and the Founder and Editor-in-Chief of Blissed Out Belle™. Connect with her on Facebook here, and follow her on Twitter @IAmShawnaKaye .