At 21 you couldn’t tell me anything; I was a grown woman. I thought I knew it all when it came to relationships. Looking back I realized I didn’t have a clue on how to approach dating and relationships. They don’t teach this stuff in school, and I didn’t necessarily have any mentors to guide me. So I dived into the dating pool head first, only to resurface a little wiser when it comes to relationships.
Many women are misinformed when it comes to dating the opposite sex. These young women are making their decisions based on what they assume works, and are even taking poor advice from girlfriends. Being Ms. Naïve on the dating scene will easily send you on a tailspin path to heartache. Well ladies be misguided no more, I’m about to dish out 3 major mistakes women make when navigating the dating scene.
1. Jumping into a Relationship right away. I would consider this the #1 mistake made in dating. When you begin to date a guy you might establish feelings that you think are love, when in actuality it is lust. The first few months of dating your viewing your new guy through rose-colored glasses, so you get swept away in all the fantasies. As you fall more head over heels for this person, you may begin to create a story in your mind of who you think they are, but in truth you fell in love with your idea of them. Unfortunately, this is a recipe for disaster waiting to happen.
Prematurely falling in love and jumping into a relationship without getting to know the other person will have you shedding tears months down the line. You have know idea who you’re dealing with the first few months, much less the first few weeks, and that is not enough time to determine if you’re compatible or have chemistry. Pace yourselves ladies, there is no rush when it comes to love; allow time for a relationship to develop organically. Besides, at this point you shouldn’t put your eggs in one basket, as a single woman go ahead and date several guys at a time. Committing to one guy too soon might have you missing out on, a better match for you.
2. Getting Intimate to soon. Jumping the gun, and having sex before you get well acquainted or committed to your guy of interest is simply reckless. Many people have different views on the proper timing to get intimate, but I highly suggest that you pump your brakes. You can go ahead and have sex within the first few dates, but how well has it worked for you in the past? When your looking for something long term your approach has to be different, by allowing both of you to invest in the relationship on emotional and mental grounds. In turn, you would both have developed a deeper connection other than sex that will keep you captivated with each other.
The two best rules of thumb when it comes to getting intimate is to wait until you have a official commitment from your guy and your both exclusively committed to each other. The second rule of thumb is when in doubt, back out; your instincts will never fail you. And if your new beau has to coerce you into the sack, that means your definitely not ready to give yourself to him. Keep in mind ladies always discuss birth control and STD protection with your partner, and if the thought of having that conversation makes you uncomfortable hold off on your sexual rendezvous.
3. Not setting and keeping standards. “If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything.” Women have dropped their dating standards so low now a days, that slackness runs a muck. Women are accepting less then desirable behavior from men who are not even worthy of them. Usually woman with low self-esteem put up with this terrible conduct, but now I’m seeing well-to-do intelligent women participating in this as well. Belle’s whether your standards are high or low you set the bar, so seize your power back.
Why are you settling for less than you want or deserve? I understand that you might be anxious to find companionship, but the answer to your single status is not lowering your standards. Allow me to disclose the root of the problem, fear. The fear of being alone or without a partner sends several women running for the hills to snatch up any guy, as a means to her end. Ladies I forbid you to lower your standards, on the grounds that your standard is the ultimate blueprint to your love life. Above all, to really get what you want you can’t afford to sacrifice, because “You will end up with, what you put up with”.
Are you making any of the above dating mistakes? Which one of these mistakes would you say you are having the most problems with? Why? Share your thoughts by leaving a comment below.
Shawna Kay ( Blissed Out Belle )
Kay is a Lifestyle & Empowerment Enthusiast, and the Founder and Editor-in-Chief of Blissed Out Belle™. Connect with her on Facebook here, and follow her on Twitter @BlissedOutBelle .