Listen up, step away from the book, blog, or magazine that is giving you advice on how to keep a man, because it’s probably doing more harm than good. If you’re wondering what on earth am I talking about, I’ll gladly clue you in. I’m aware amongst us women that we’re quick to share our opinions on what it takes to keep a man, whether it’s dressing provocatively, throwing down in the kitchen, or the bedroom, but in all honesty you can’t keep someone who doesn’t want to be kept.
Let’s be serious, do we actually think men are sitting around reading books on how to keep a woman? Of course not! Numerous amount of woman are way too concerned with sharpening their man catching skills, which just seems too calculated and unauthentic. Personally, it has never been, or will be my responsibility to try to keep a man, and neither should it be yours. I’m totally disgusted by this notion that men are meant to be kept. Simply flip through a Cosmopolitan magazine or you can stumble upon an article online and you’ll discover “5 Ways To Attract Mr. Right”, “50 Sex Moves That Will Drive Him Crazy”, “10 Ways To Keep Him From Cheating”; this is absurd! With the tremendous amount of articles available, I can’t find just one telling men how to keep their woman.
I’m baffled by the idea that the weight of a relationship is solely placed on a woman, even though it’s not her responsibility to jump through hoops to keep a man. I believe this concept sends the wrong message to women and young girls alike; that their worth is dependent on if she can keep a man. And even if a woman were to follow any advice, it wouldn’t guarantee that a man would stay. Besides, you wouldn’t want to keep a man, if with you, is not where he wants to be. Also, take into account that men are innate hunters, so they’re the one’s who should be doing the pursuing, so allow them to take the responsibility of catching and keeping you.
The bigger question here is, if you can’t keep him, what does that mean to you? If not keeping him brings up feelings of inadequacy, there’s a whole other set of issues to be dealt with here. It doesn’t make you less of a woman, or less desirable if the relationship didn’t work out.
Let’s be real, breaking your neck to keep a man isn’t really what you want to do. You should want a man to love you as is, and anything else is just the perks. This whole ‘keep a man’ mentality has a lot of women being taken advantage of by men who don’t deserve them. Rest assured, you can pull out all the stops by whipping up a 3-course gourmet meal, performing all 64 positions from the Kama Sutra, or stroking his ego, and all this would’ve made no impact. Furthermore, the women who are trying their darndest to keep a man, are the one’s who are usually being exploited.
Allow me to make it clear that, I’m not declaring that the advice in those articles are totally worthless, but what I am saying is that the message should be more about empowering women to be a better version of herself. Along with being a better version of herself, she will coincidently entail all the things that may be attractive to a man. Hence, any action she takes is more for her to feel confident and empowered, and when a man follows after, that’s just a bonus! Therefore, if you want to dress up and look good, do so because it makes you feel attractive, and not to catch a man. If you want to learn how to cook a meal, do so because you’re hungry and enjoy cooking, and not to please Mr. Right. If you want to get in touch with your sexuality do so, because you want to, and not to satisfy a man’s sexual demand. I think you get my point!
Going forward, please drop any idea of catching and keeping a man; what you really want to do is connect with him, instead of keeping him. It’s about getting to know each other and forming a bond. When a natural bond is developed between two people, there’s no need to be concerned with whether a person’s coming or going, because the connection alone is what keeps them there. So, keep this in mind, as you relax and let your true self-shine through.
Now, the day you feel that you have to break your neck to keep a man, go to the mirror and slap the first person that shows up. Your more than a keeper of a man, you’re an awesome woman, powered by purpose. Trust me, if you just work on being a better you, people would naturally be attracted to you without all the gimmick. Moreover, if it just so happens that you meet a guy along the path to a better you; that’s just the perk, and not the prize.
What do you think about articles or books that suggest how to keep a man? Share your thoughts by leaving a comment below.
Shawna Kay ( Blissed Out Belle )
Kay is a Lifestyle & Empowerment Enthusiast, and the Founder and Editor-in-Chief of Blissed Out Belle™. Connect with her on Facebook here, and follow her on Twitter @BlissedOutBelle .