Does the mere mention of your ex-boyfriend’s name provoke anger and irritation inside you? I was a jaded woman for a while, however, I’ve come to gain a great appreciation for the men of my past. In all honesty, I am so thankful for all my experiences with my ex’s, because they have been one of the best teachers along my life’s journey. With that being said, I would like to take the time to give a shout-out to all me ex-boyfriends, and let them know that they’ve been one of the greatest driving forces in helping me to become a better woman.
My statement may be bold and audacious to some people, but being bitter and angry won’t get you anywhere. I refuse to regret or view any of my past relationships as failures, because I’ve turned my pain into a more meaningful life lesson.
Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit. -Napoleon Hill
Now, I’m going to go where know woman has gone before, and give you 4 great reasons to be grateful for your former flame.
1. Your ex-boyfriend’s rejection is your protection. Whether you dated a jerk and he broke your heart, or if the both of you weren’t compatible, the fact that it didn’t work out was a blessing in disguise. As I take a glance back at some of the guys I’ve dated I’m so grateful that they dropped the ball, and to think I could’ve ended up with that. Attempting to hold onto a relationship that is obviously falling apart can take an emotional toll on you. No amount of fussing and fighting will make the relationship work, so stop delay your healing process. The relationship fizzled out and this speaks volumes to the fact that a particular guy is not suitable for you, so thank God you dodged a bullet. Besides, your saving yourself time and energy, that can be used towards someone well worth it. Ladies, the bottom line is to not waste the pretty.
2. One of the biggest lessons you can learn from your ex is to raise your standards. Dating Mr. Wrong has made you realize what you don’t want, so you’ll know what you do want. My young and naïve self was once blinded by a man’s looks and charm, at which point I was tolerating subpar behavior that was less than what I deserved. My wake up call came when I started to look at the bigger picture, and understand that what I was putting up with, is what I would end up with. The bar had to be raised in order to filter out all the clowns that weren’t worthy of me. No longer will I accept crumbs, so what was once acceptable behavior will not be allowed.
3. Your ex-boyfriend can help you to reveal some of your weaknesses when it comes relationships, so you can work on those areas. Are you an inconsiderate, needy, or selfish lover? Most likely you won’t know what type of lover you are unless you’ve failed in a relationship, and it is brought to your awareness. What I discovered about myself after taking a close look at some of my past relationships is that I expected my boyfriend to meet all my needs. Just like in the movies, I expected him to complete me. Confronting my relationship flaws has allowed me to understand that no one person can meet my needs, and it is my responsibility to ensure that I meet my own needs. I’m now wide-awake to all my relationships flaws, and this has allowed me to course correct and become a better woman for a better man.
4. An unsuccessful relationship can be your wake up call to appreciate and love yourself even more, regardless of who is in your life. A break up puts you in a very fragile state; this is all the more reason to love yourself that much more. When the focus has been on a love interest for so long, some women often neglect themselves. Appreciating and loving yourself through the pain is all a part of the healing process, and this gives you the perfect opportunity to give yourself the needed me-time. Go ahead get selfish, or even conceded, do whatever it takes to boost your self-love and confidence. In the end, you will have gained more out of the situation than you had lost.
In what way has an ex been an influential force in your life? Can you have an honest appreciation for your ex? Why or Why not? Share your thoughts by leaving a comment below.
Shawna Kay ( Blissed Out Belle )
Kay is a Lifestyle & Empowerment Enthusiast, and the Founder and Editor-in-Chief of Blissed Out Belle™. Connect with her on Facebook here, and follow her on Twitter @BlissedOutBelle .