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Eliminating The Pressure To Be Perfect

We’re all chasing some form of illusion, and one of the biggest illusions is perfection! This term has generated a tremendous amount of anxiety and frustration, and is also counterproductive to our wellbeing and sense of wholeness. In essence, perfection implies that we can never fully be happy, or content given that we’re burdened with living up to some ideal. And you’d be surprised how many of us are dealing with perfectionism, which is described as striving for flawlessness and setting excessively high standards, along with being overly critical of one’s self. Perfectionists rack their brains with unrealistic ideals, and when they can’t meet their goals, they often fall deep into depression.

As a young child I once believed in the concept of perfection because I was introduced to phrases like practice makes perfect, picture perfect, or any other similar expressions. And it’s in our childhood years is where we get setup to believe the grand illusion of perfection, which most of the time is used as a tactic in order to get us to meet someone else’s expectations.

In spite of this realization, most of us spend an enormous amount of time attempting to hit the perfection mark, which is a futile battle that is sure to be lost. And once we’ve managed to recognize that perfection is a difficult task to accomplish, then that’s when we’ll begin to fake perfection. The whole aim then becomes about giving off the impression and presentation that our life is “picture perfect”. Hence, we go out into the world pretending that everything is wonderful, but subconsciously we’re afraid that someone might discover just the opposite.

To be honest, everyone is faking perfection to some degree, and this may consist of acting as if we’re happy, giving off the perception of success by having possessions that culturally equate to being prosperous, or altering our appearance; the list is endless. So, why would we put ourselves through all this, and what’s the underlying motivation behind the search for perfection?

In reality, the individuals who strive towards perfection are usually compensating for something. As a result, they hold an unconscious belief that other people are somehow better then them, so they feel the need to be flawless just to measure up. Ironically, the person you believe to be superior or better is just as insecure and clueless as you are. Contrary to popular belief, we’re all going through our own stuff; yet most of us do a great job of hiding it or decline to discuss it, which leads others to believe that our lives are perfect.

On the other hand, don’t be fooled, even the wisest spiritually enlightened individuals are going through their own internal predicaments. I mention all this is to say, that we are all imperfect beings, and it’s fine to make mistakes, missteps, and blunders, since none of us has room to judge. Despite this realization, perfection seekers fear judgment, and would do anything to avert it. As a matter of fact, having their shortcomings come to light would mean a major blow to their self-esteem. So, whether these insecurities were self-imposed, or they received messages that they weren’t good enough at some point, what these individuals really need is not perfection, but to face and heal their insecurities. And healing can only take place by admitting that perfectionism is an issue in the first place, in order to take the necessary steps to shift all the limiting beliefs surrounding it.

All things considered, the pursuit of perfection hinders our ability to fully enjoy the present moment because it keeps us busy critiquing and measuring up. Besides, our time can be better spent on healing, and personal growth instead. With that being said, it would be beneficial if our culture would also acknowledge the concept of perfection for the illusion that it is, and maybe someday it will be eliminated from our vocabulary, so folks can stop chasing this mythical concept for good.

What area in your life did you feel you needed to be perfect, and why? Are you apprehensive about unveiling your imperfections in fear of being judged? Express your thoughts, and join the conversation by leaving a comment below. Share this post if you found it thought provoking, or helpful to you. 


Shawna Kaye 

Kaye is a Lifestyle Writer & Empowerment Passionista, and the Founder and Editor-in-Chief of Blissed Out Belle™. Connect with her on Facebook here, and follow her on Twitter @BlissedOutBelle .

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  • Mr

    For me to eliminate my aim for perfection would be a cop out although we are not perfect there are some things we do perfect I don’t wanna settle for mediocracy. So my search for perfection gives me the drive to work harder at finding perfection there is a mantra that I say everyday “shoot for the moon even if you miss you will be among the stars”

    • Mr, I understand your concept, but aiming high is different from perfection. Perfection implies that there’s a definitive standard to meet, while aiming high gives you the option to uncover your own limitless potential. I believe we should all live up to our highest potential, just as long as you’re we’re not trying to measure up to the next person. The comparison will only live us striving to one-up the next person, which creates a negative atmosphere that affects our sense of wellbeing.


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