My blood boils when I’m in a heated discussion, and a man calls me crazy. Really, if you think this is crazy, you don’t know what real crazy is! Don’t you just hate it when someone calls you crazy just to sike you out, and have you questioning your own good judgment? We woman have a lot riding on our shoulders we have to be caregivers, nurturers, career woman, all this and much more, and at times it’s too much to bear, so if we have an emotional moment, let us!
Of course we have our have our mood swings and PMS, but we’re not crazy by far; or at least most of us. We’re just emotionally creatures that have our stressors and triggers just like men, but the only difference is that we express our emotions instead of bottling them all up. Give us a break, we have tons on our plate trying to juggle so many roles, along with multi-tasking, and this calls for an emotional breather. Yes, I may look like I have it all together at one moment, and break down the next; but that doesn’t speak to who I am. By all means, just because you don’t understand someone, doesn’t make him or her crazy.
So what, if I’m in my feelings today, and I may not know the best way to get my point cross; don’t dismiss my feelings as being absurd. We women are crying out for help, so don’t ignore us! Don’t tell me that I’m overreacting, or that I’m oversensitive. When I’m moody, it may come across a little irrational, but bear with me and seek to understand me. I don’t want you take my emotion for a reason to automatically put your guard up. When I’m emotional is when I require the most attention, affection, and I want you there the most. When I need attention I may nag, but don’t mistake this for who I am; just let me have my moment damn it!
In spite of this, when a woman has legitimate reasons to be upset, how dare you call her crazy! If a man just cheated on a woman and she gets irate, why shouldn’t she flip her top; did you expect her to take easy. Is she then “crazy” for wanting a man to respect her, or be faithful to her? Or let me guess; she’s also “crazy” for suspecting that a man is doing wrong by her? Therefore, a women’s intuition is totally dismissed as being crazy too. Even when a woman has valid concerns, she’s still considered delusional.
Not to mention, do you notice that when you ask a guy, the reason why he broke up with his ex, the usual answer is, “Well, she was crazy.” You have to be weary of this, because a guy is trying to absolve himself from any responsibility of the break up. Guys have the habit of calling a woman “crazy” as an easy impulsive response to a display of behavior they may find inconvenient or undesirable, but they have no idea what genuine mental health issues are. Really, it’s just a low blow to use in an argument with a woman. At it’s core this habit is a way of brushing off any behavior that men might find bothersome meanwhile relieving them of any responsibility; which is total emotional manipulation. It’s much easier for a man to label a woman “crazy” or “hysterical” as a means to diminish her concerns and issues without having to stop to consider them as possibly being valid.
Listen up, anyone calling you crazy is an attempt to try to knock you off your guard, and have you questioning your own feelings. In psychology there’s a term for this called “gaslighting”. “Gaslighting” is essentially when someone is constantly dismissing someone else’s concerns as crazy, whereas they’re minimizing and dismissing their reactions, which makes them feel uncomfortable with themselves and causes them to doubt their own feelings. It they’re told over and over again that what they’re feeling is irrational or unreal, at some point they start to accept that maybe it is.
According to the folks at DrLoveNerd.com:
Labeling women as “crazy” is a way of controlling them. Calling a woman “crazy” is quick and easy shut-down to any discussion. Once the “crazy” card has been pulled out, women are now put on the defensive: the burden is no longer on the man to address her concerns or her issue, it’s on her to justify her behavior, to prove that she is not, in fact, crazy or irrational. Men don’t even have to provide any sort of argument back – it’s a classic catch-22; “the fact that you don’t even see that you’re acting crazy is just proof that it’s crazy.”
The world wants to label us women “crazy” so we could go along, just to get along. I’m tired of society discrediting a women’s feelings as being “unreasonable” or “oversensitive”, basically they’re implying that a woman’s desires and opinions are secondary to men. If I’m a little emotional, assertive, or even standing up for how I feel, this should be of no inconvenience to anyone. On a regular, women are being talked out of their own feelings, and are being conditioned to not trust their own emotions.
Ladies, don’t allow anyone to minimize your feelings, or tell you that you don’t have a right to the way you feel, just because they don’t want to have to deal with it. Now, don’t get me wrong, I know there are women that are actually crazy in this world, and those women know who they are. However, the point here is to understand the motive behind someone using the term “crazy” as means to confuse and manipulate you. Certainly you will experience in the future someone using the term as a weapon, but just remember their intent, and to not take it personally. And to the those who so loosely use the term crazy, please save it for someone who is actually missing a couple of screws.
How does it make you feel when you’re trying to express a point, and someone pulls the “crazy” card as a defense mechanism? What do you do in an argument when called “crazy”? Share your thoughts by leaving a comment below.
(For more information on “Gaslighting” click here)
Shawna Kay ( Blissed Out Belle )
Kay is a Lifestyle & Empowerment Enthusiast, and the Founder and Editor-in-Chief of Blissed Out Belle™. Connect with her on Facebook here, and follow her on Twitter @BlissedOutBelle .