In the dating world, it appears as thought it’s one small step back for woman, and one giant leap ahead for the men, because men are having their cake, and eating it too! Apparently, there are a number of men that are NOT committing, courting, or being exclusive with women, and yet they still get to reap all the relationship rewards without ever having to sow a seed. However, they’re not totally to blame, because women have been giving away their power at an alarming rate by accepting and subjecting themselves to less than conditions.
Truthfully, women hold more power than they’re aware of, and since several women lack this awareness it has allowed for men to exploit them to the fullest. With that being said, this affects all women, because there are men who think that what he can do to one woman, it will become acceptable to do to all. As you can tell, the relationship spectrum has drastically changed which places the ball in the men’s court, and has created a passive relationship and dating atmosphere. At any rate, there are ways to counteract this, but we must first get to the source of the issue. Allow me to bring to your attention 6 ways men might be winning, and present some solutions that can be implemented so women can put an end to sabotaging their love life.
1. Women are accepting relationship crumbs, instead of raising their standards in order to receive the whole pie. I’m sure you’ve heard this cliché phrase before “Raise Your Standards”, however this must not be taken lightly. Standards are a necessity, and are to be used as a guide to help filter out and select a suitable partner. Consequently, if you lack any form of values you’ll usually find yourself in an unfulfilling relationship where you will end up being mistreated. It’s disturbing to see a generation of woman that fail to grasp this concept, and has set the bar so low just to have a warm body in their bed at night. Apparently, the main reason why men have acquired so much leverage in dating is because women are willing to accept the bear bones minimum. A guy isn’t required to come to the table correct; he can show up any haphazard way, and he’ll be received with open arms. And even if a guy shows up below par, we women often believe we have the power to change him; thus giving him the time of day.
Solution: Show the world how you expect to be treated, by holding yourself up in high regard. Refuse to settle for less than you deserve, and set some clear-cut standards. The best thing you can do is to have your standards written down, so you can visually see them collectively on paper as a reminder. And be sure to adhere to them.
2. Thirsty women make it ridiculously easy for a guy to gain the upper hand. Desperation is the ultimate kiss of death when it comes to a woman really getting what she wants out of her love life. Are you doing the most? Are you competing with other women? Are you treating a man like a King when he doesn’t deserve it? Men are no fools, they can sense thirst from a mile away and he will use it to his advantage. A woman’s desperation will allow a man to cheat on her, disrespect her, and abuse her; yet she will still accommodate and tolerate this degradation. These desert thirsty women’s self-esteem, and self-worth are rooted in extracting validation and meaning from men; as a result they hand over their power. Likewise, when a man perceives desperation in a woman, he will milk it for all it’s worth.
Solution: Seize your power back, by cultivating self-love and confidence. Take a break from dating, and spend some time nurturing your inner-self by journaling, reading, taking a class, engaging in hobbies, or any activity that will build your confidence on solid ground. Overall, realize that you are the complete prize, and allow a guy to pursue you.
3. Men are having their cake and eating too; because some women are willing settle for being a side chick. It appears as though the side chick status has become the new norm, and this ends up becoming a lifestyle for a number of women. It’s one thing to be unaware that you’re a mistress, but it’s another to know and not care. Engaging in such acts is not only chipping away at a woman’s self-worth, it robs her of a sincere relationship she so desires. A woman may assume that the man she’s involved with values her, however he doesn’t respect her since she doesn’t respect herself. In other words, serving as a convenience will only have a man viewing a woman as just a temporary cheap thrill. And with his command he’ll have her eating out the palm of his hand.
Solution: Refuse to play second fiddle in a relationship by not subjecting yourself to the lousy level of a mistress. Love yourself enough to know that engaging in an affair is totally unacceptable. Understand that even if you were apart of a love triangle and were unaware of it, once you find out respect yourself by cutting it off and walking away.
4. Men are reaping the benefits of a relationship without having to actually commit to one. Ladies are dishing out the 5-star treatment to men that they consider as a potential boyfriend, when all he views her as is a placeholder. Scenarios like this occur frequently. For instance, a woman will be sexually intimate with a man she’s dating with the hopes that someday he’ll finally make it official. What would make a woman believe that a man will buy the cow, when he can get the milk for free? Ladies, don’t think for a second that sex will eventually get a man to commit; he’ll have you stringing along for as long as possible before he abandons the arrangement for good. The trouble here is that everyone woman would like to believe that she’s the exception to this rule, and will often ignore this rule of thumb. Obviously, the men in these situations are making out like bandits. Therefore, all he has to do is lead a woman to believe that there’s a possibility for a relationship to develop. Jackpot; he’s winning!
Solution: Refrain from offering any relationship benefits without any official title, or declaration of commitment. If a guy refuses to make it official, cut your loses and move on immediately. Recognize that you’re worthy of a meaningful commitment, and by all means avoid the non-committal and emotionally unavailable men.
5. Countless women wouldn’t recognize a quality man if he showed up at her doorstep. It never ceases to exist how a woman will chase down a bad-boy only to wound up hurt, and wondering why. On the other hand, some ladies equate a quality man with owning a luxury car, having a high-caliber position, or a large bank account; yet none of these indicate quality. All the same, if a quality guy shows up and doesn’t fit the mold of what a woman thinks quality is; chances are he will be falsely discredited. However, it’s significant to understand how all of this plays a part in giving guys a leg-up. When you’re clueless as to what a quality man is, you can easily be scammed and manipulated into believing that the guy you’re dating is a great catch. All a guy has to do is to look the part, or give-off a particular perception, and a woman will be sprung off of Mr. Wrong. Therefore, men use this knowledge in their favor to wield power, and lure women in.
Solution: The best method of determining a quality man is by taking the inside-out approach. Begin by first assessing a guys personality, core beliefs, and values. Once you’ve identified whom a man is intrinsically you can make your way to the external realm, and begin to analyze how he conducts his life, behaviors, and habits. Above all, it’s important to remember quality starts from within.
6. When a woman loses her class, a man will end up treating her like trash. Nowadays, class has become nonexistent, and women are out of touch with what actually appeals to a man. Ladies are showing up as a hot mess, whether it’s being promiscuous, outrageously loud and obnoxious, or dressing scantily with all the assets hanging out; women are leaving nothing to the imagination. The modern woman assumes that being provocative, and wearing their sexuality on the sleeve will have the men clamoring over them, however it ends up being all the wrong ones. Not to mention, women are not requiring men to court them, which kills any last remnants of chivalry. And with no formal courtship involved, often times men dating end up developing into a temporary flings As you can tell, there’s no surprise of how this one benefits the men, considering that some women lack class and are not demanding more for themselves.
Solution: Stand out from the crowd, by doing the opposite of what most ladies are doing; bring class and sophistication back. When you conduct and carry yourself with class, a man can’t help but to notice and respect you by genuinely pursuing you, otherwise he’ll fall by the wayside.
Would you agree that men are winning in dating? Why or why not? Why do you think a number of women in this generation have allowed men to take advantage of them? Express your thoughts, and join the conversation by leaving a comment below. Share this post if you found it thought provoking, or helpful to you.
Shawna Kaye ( Blissed Out Belle )
Kaye is a Lifestyle & Empowerment Enthusiast, and the Founder and Editor-in-Chief of Blissed Out Belle™. Connect with her on Facebook here, and follow her on Twitter @BlissedOutBelle .